sonofapie:

Mix of angst, humor and various other emotions.

UPDATED VERSION !

❝ It’s a treasure. ❞
❝ I swear next person who asks if I’m okay, I’m gonna start throwing punches! ❞
❝ I know what you’re thinking. Why’d it have to be clowns? ❞
❝ Why do you think I drive everywhere? ❞
❝ Dude, you fugly. ❞
❝ It’s like I finally see a light at the end of this ugly ass tunnel. ❞
❝ I wish I couldn’t feel a damn thing. ❞
❝ You know I love the guy, but I swear he writes like freaking Yoda. ❞ 
❝ You stink like sex. ❞
❝ I owe you the biggest “I told you so” ever. ❞
❝ Yeah, MySpace, what the hell is that? ❞
❝ Everybody keeps asking me that, but… no. ❞
❝ I think I’m adorable. ❞
❝ I’m not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren’t even hot. ❞
❝ Dude, he/she wants me to meet his/her parents. I don’t do parents. ❞
❝ This weight on my shoulders, man, I’m tired of it. ❞
❝ You mean “protection against a demon” salt or “oops, I spilled the popcorn” salt? ❞
❝ We know a little about a lot of things. Just enough to make us dangerous. ❞
❝ Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole. ❞
❝ First I’m gonna find that handsome devil and kick the holy crap outta him. ❞
❝ Say you’ll take care of yourself. ❞
❝ You can take your peace and shove it up your lily-white ass. ❞
❝ You are not gonna die a virgin. Not on my watch. ❞
❝ You’re serious? You’re gonna walk in there and tell him the truth? ❞
❝ We’ve talked about this. Personal space? ❞
❝ Hey, look! A monster broke my leg. ❞
❝ Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon? ❞
❝ Dude, could you be more gay? ❞
❝ You fudging touch me again, I’ll fudging kill you! ❞
❝ Gimme the baby, or I’ll stab you in your throat. ❞
❝ I bet it’s not even sharp. ❞
❝ You don’t stop being a soldier because you got wounded in battle. ❞
❝ Don’t make me lose you, too. ❞
❝ Dude, stow the touchy-feely-self-help yoga crap! ❞
❝ No chick flick moments. ❞
❝ What, are you allergic to straight answers, you son of a bitch?! ❞
❝ Pretend he has boobs. ❞
❝ If you walk out that door, don’t ever come back. ❞
❝ I like to think it’s because of my perky nipples. ❞
❝ Don’t ever change. ❞
❝ I’m proud of us.  ❞
❝ Not for nothing, but last time someone looked at me like that… I got laid. ❞
❝ You know who whines? Babies. ❞
❝ I know how you look into a mirror and hate what you see. ❞
❝ Demons I get. People are crazy. ❞
❝ Huh. Man, that’s crap. You always have a choice. You can either roll over and die or you can keep fighting. No matter what. ❞
❝ I just can’t keep pretending that everything’s alright. ❞
❝ I’m poison. ❞
❝ You’re like a walking Encyclopedia of weirdness. ❞
❝ I guess that’s what I do. I let down the people that I love. ❞
❝ As long as I’m around, nothing bad is gonna happen to you. ❞
❝ I get all tingly when you take control like that. ❞
❝ You know who wears sunglasses inside? Blind people. And douchebags. ❞
❝ I think you pissed off my sandwich. ❞
❝ And best part is  –  I don’t care that I don’t care! ❞
❝ I wanted you to know that when I do picture myself happy, it’s with you. ❞
❝ Dude, on my car, he showed up naked, covered in bees. ❞
❝ Nobody kill any virgins! ❞
❝ ________ or not, I will stab you in your face. ❞
❝ My Spidey senses are tingling. ❞
❝ Then we can all go out for ice-cream and strippers. ❞
❝ Nobody cares that you’re broken! ❞
❝ Do I really say “awesome” a lot? ❞
❝ What’s dead should STAY dead! ❞
❝ I’ll kill you, your children and your grandchildren. ❞
❝ You fudging touch me again, I’ll fudging kill ya! ❞
❝ If you say “(God works in) mysterious ways,” so help me, I will kick your ass! ❞
❝ You should know… I’m 90% crap. You take that, and what’s left? ❞
❝ Don’t objectify me. ❞
❝ Don’t you dare think there is anything, past or present, that I would put in front of you. ❞
❝ Are we gonna fight or make out? ‘Cause I’m getting some real mixed signals over here. ❞
❝ I mean, what’s the point in worrying about your future if you don’t have one? ❞
❝ I’m not gonna whine about my bullshit problems to some bullshit reality show. I’m gonna do my fucking job. ❞
❝ Do you think it’s ‘cause we’re so awesome? I think it’s ‘cause we’re so awesome. ❞
❝ Why do people keep thinking I’m threatening them? ❞
❝ Yeah, nobody speaks Greek anymore. Except Greeks. ❞
❝ It takes two to… you know… have hardcore sex. ❞
❝ It’s your grief counselors! We’ve come to hug. ❞ 

rpfunstuff:

You can find a random generator here.

1. Babysitter x Parent: Person A is a busy single parent who happens to be desperate to find a nanny for their five year old child. Person B recently got laid off and since they have experience working with children, decide to take up babysitting until they can find another job with better pay. One evening, Person B gets rained in at Person A’s house and Person A insists they stay over on the couch to avoid getting into an accident since the roads are so terrible. After the child goes to bed, A and B open a bottle of wine and begin talking. The next morning, Person B wakes up in Person A’s bed, regretting the decision to sleep with them but not enough to keep it from happening again and again.
2. Coffee Shop: Person A is a barista at the local hole in the wall coffee shop. Person B is new to the town and is starting to become a regular at the quiet little cafe with the best latte art they have ever seen but little do they know, the art is all for them after they’ve caught Person A’s attention. Will Person A ever gather up the courage to ask Person B out, or will they just continue with their art in hopes of Person B approaching them?
3. Fake Dating: Person A has a huge family and every other relative their age either has kids or is married/in a serious relationship, this makes family dinners uncomfortable since they are constantly teased about being single for whatever reason. Person B is Person A’s housemate but they are not particularly close. The extent of their relationship is that they live in the same space and have a few classes together/work in the same building. After A finds out that B is free for the weekend, the same weekend A is expected to go home to visit, A begs B to pose as their significant other in hopes of avoiding any further torment from their family members but what turns out to be a small lie, grows rapidly to the point where A and B find themselves having to lie to A’s family more often than what was originally intended.
4. Friends With Benefits: Person A and B have been in the same group of friends since Junior High and now that they’re older, everyone else has seemed to found love, leaving A and B the only singles in the group. After a while, everyone stops hanging out as much as their free time is taken up by work, family, and their significant others, leaving A and B with loads of free time to be spent together. They love their relationship as friends too much to risk going out on dates and becoming a couple, but that doesn’t mean they don’t get lonely and have needs. Will anything change once they agree to have sex ? Will sleeping together bring them closer or push them apart?
5. Hate Sex: Person A and B have known each other since they were kids because their parents are best friends and never once have they ever agreed on anything. Playdates turned into boxing matches and debates turned into full blown arguments with screaming and name calling involved. They somehow end up in the same room together, alone, and arguing over the smallest thing quickly ensues. Instead of throwing punches, Person A pushes Person B against the wall and kisses them. Kissing quickly turns into pulling each other’s clothes off and having sex, but this doesn’t change the way they feel or how they treat each other. At least not at first.
6. Jock x Nerd: Person A is the star of their school’s sports team, Person B is on the road to Valedictorian. A’s grades threaten to kick them off the team, tutoring would look good on B’s college applications. B signs up but is disappointed to find out that the person they have to tutor is A, someone that has bullied them since they met in middle school, but refuses to drop out of the tutoring program and decides to make the best of it.
7. Seven Minutes in Heaven: Person A is having a party, Person B somehow gets invited and decides to go despite how nervous they are. They don’t know each other personally, and it’s B’s first ever party. What happens when a bunch of teenagers get together and are unsupervised? Hook ups. This time in the form of being alone in a dark closet with someone a spinning bottle chose for you. In this case, B spun the bottle and upon stopping, it pointed at A. Great.
8. Teacher x Student: Person A just got their first teaching job at a High School, despite their teacher friends’ warnings of teaching teenagers. They’ve heard it all before; “they can smell fear,” “they will purposely try to make you feel uncomfortable since you’re not that much older than them,” and the ever popular “they will eat you alive,” but no one warned them about the whole “developing feelings for a student that holds eye contact a little too long” thing. That’s where Person B comes in, fresh out of a break up and looking for a distraction. The new History teacher is young enough and isn’t too bad to look at either. Oh and look at that, no ring on their finger! What’s the worst that can happen if an affair with them isn’t found out about? They should both be asking themselves what’s the worst that could happen if they get caught.

youmissedsxcker:

SEND ME A FANDOM AND I’LL TELL YOU A CHARACTER I’D ROLEPLAY FROM THAT FANDOM.

angstmemes:

“I’m so sorry…”
“Those things you said yesterday… Did you mean them?”
“I’m not going to apologise for this. Not anymore.”
“Please tell me you’re sorry… I need to hear you say it.”
“I don’t say sorry.”
“You’re the one who should be sorry!”
“After everything you did, you’re asking ME to apologise for snapping at you ONCE?”
“I didn’t know I was hurting you. I’m sorry.”
“Why’d I apologise for finally standing up for myself?”
“You should really learn to apologise.”
“What’s wrong with you?! How hard is it to show me you’re sorry?! Or aren’t you sorry?”
“Sorry.”
“I didn’t do it! Why don’t you believe me?!”
“I’m sorry too…”
“Stop pinning this on me! You started it!”
“It’s your fault we’re in this mess.”
“I don’t say sorry to anyone. Definitely not you.”
“You have nothing to apologise for.”
“Stop saying sorry!”
“Did you do this on purpose?!”
“Apologise to me! Now!”
“I’m not sorry.”